{"id":206,"date":"2019-04-24T12:43:45","date_gmt":"2019-04-24T16:43:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/makingitinasheville.com\/?p=206"},"modified":"2020-08-21T16:07:14","modified_gmt":"2020-08-21T20:07:14","slug":"13-hour-offsite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/makingitinasheville.com\/13-hour-offsite\/","title":{"rendered":"The 13-Hour Offsite: How to Decide What to Do With Your Life (13 Weeks at a Time)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Let us guess, you have a never-ending list of things to do. You keep checking the boxes but you still feel like you\u2019re not really getting anything done. As the list keeps growing and you keep moving, you can\u2019t stop wondering \u201cWhy am I doing all this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve been there. <\/em>Most people have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, breathe easy. This post proposes a unique process<\/em> that helped us answer those types of questions in a clear, concise way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We call it the \u201c13-Hour Offsite\u201d and we\u2019re using it to plan our life together, build a business, and prepare for our wedding. While it\u2019s still a work-in-progress that will continue to evolve over the years, the essence of how it works is ready to be shared with you today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Follow the steps detailed below and you’ll be able to figure out what to do with your life and how to get started. It\u2019s simple to implement and easy to test. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take it for a test drive and let us know what you think!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Origin of the 13-Hour Offsite<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Whenever things have gotten particularly dire in the “what are we doing with our lives” department, we\u2019ve found it helpful to escape. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, we\u2019re not talking about just running away from everything and abandoning all responsibilities. What we mean is more of a “retreat” \u2013 a geo-physical pattern-break that deviates from our normal day so that we have room to breathe and think. We opt for this change in scenery to allow us to zoom out and see beyond this moment or day or even the year ahead of us. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We’d take a day trip to go hiking. We’d go to the park for an afternoon. We’ve even stayed at a hotel 15 minutes from our home (a “staycation” we’d highly recommend! No travel, but you still have the perks of getting away). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, a spontaneous, quick trip as a pattern break is great and can lead to positive change but it’s not a 13-Hour Offsite. Case in point, one of these ‘retreats’ created the ah-hah moment which led us to make the move to Asheville.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you could say that we had already believed in the idea of changing locations to think strategically about life. Then Sarah read a book called Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Doing Less<\/em> by Greg McKeown. One of his theories to being an \u201cessentialist\u201d is to escape through a scheduled<\/em> quarterly offsite. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The book made such an impact on Sarah that we decided to bake its philosophy of scheduled offsites into our commitments to each other for at least one year. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we expanded on the commitment we unearthed a process that is powerful and repeatable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The result: The 13-Hour Offsite<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is The 13-Hour Offsite?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It’s simple: every 13 weeks block 13 hours to envision 130 months and 130 years into the past and future so that you can plan your next 13 weeks<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe 13-Hour Offsite\u201d is more than just 13 hours dedicated to retreating<\/g> from your daily tasks. It\u2019s time dedicated to slowing down, zooming out, and reflecting on important questions so that you can more effectively create the life you want. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how the 13-13-130-130 framework works. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

13 Hours<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Thirteen hours is meant to be a full day like 8 am to 9 pm. Alternatively, you can utilize two work blocks like 2 to 9 pm and 8 am to 2 pm the following day (that’s how we ran our last offsite and we loved it). You can go longer. But don\u2019t<\/span> go<\/span> shorter<\/span>. Give the process time. Don\u2019t rush it. Allow yourself the time to sit with these questions and unpack your thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

13 Weeks<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Thirteen weeks is more exact than saying \u201cquarterly.\u201d There are exactly four thirteen-week blocks per year. Use whatever process feels right to you (quarterly or exactly) to block your calendar for this year and commit to the dates you block off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

130 Months<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One hundred and thirty months is just over a decade, 10 years and 10 months to be exact. We find 10 years to be an approachable but long enough window of time that \u201canything can happen.\u201d We remember what our lives looked and felt like ten years ago and we think<\/em> can imagine ten years in the future. It\u2019s the sweet spot for us. If you\u2019d prefer 5-, 15-, or 20-year reflections, knock yourself out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

130 Years<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One hundred and thirty years from now is just about four generations. Around that point in the past, each of our first ancestors came to the United States. How crazy of a move is that?! It makes our move from Brooklyn to Asheville seem like a walk in the park. Outside of that, we know almost nothing about them. What might our great-great-grandchildren know or think about us? What stories, if any, would they be told? What legacy might we leave? The intention here is to think on a multi-generational level \u2014 to zoom so far out that it\u2019s hard to even imagine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ok, so you’ve got the number. But what exactly do you do for all 13 hours of the offsite? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s dive in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Run your first 13-Hour Offsite<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Each 13-Hour Offsite can and should be different but here are the guidelines we recommend you follow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Scheduling the Offsite<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

1. Put it on your calendar<\/strong>.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Open your calendar, and find a weekend (or two consecutive days) where you can dedicate at least 24 full hours to this process. It should be no more than 13 weekends into the future. When you find days that work, block them for your \u201cOffsite.\u201d Now, count 13 weekends and block that for offiste number two. Do that two more times and you have a year planned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Put these offsites on your calendar now and do everything in your power not to schedule anything else for those specific days. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It can be a full weekend or a full day. We suggest at least 8 hours of dedicated work time to allow yourself to fully decompress and reflect (13 hours with breaks, food, and movement). When in doubt, default to scheduling more time for this process than you’d think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Familiar places are not allowed.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

No matter how long it lasts, it should take place outside of the office and outside of your home. Think: pattern-break. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve taken a beach trip, traveled up to the Hudson River from New York for a weekend hiking, and we recently rented a quiet cabin Airbnb that was about an hour from Asheville and tucked in the mountains. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Almost anywhere will work but prioritize limited distractions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Invite a partner.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

This part is optional but it can be helpful in having another set of eyes and perspective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That said, you should only invite someone who is fully on board with the distraction-free getaway and who you can trust to ask honest questions about your business or life without judgement. It\u2019s better to go alone than invite your best friend who just wants to gossip and drink wine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re holding a quarterly offsite for a business, then invite your key shareholders and trusted advisers. We\u2019ll discuss the rest of the notes as though it\u2019s a personal off-site but this process can easily be replicated for your business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the Offsite<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

1. Set up a distraction-free zone.<\/strong> <\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Make sure that you are fully focused without any distractions. Turn on automatic email replies, turn off your WiFi (or better yet: go somewhere with no internet connection), and turn off all phone notifications (airplane mode). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s important to know your weakness here. For example, Tony feels particularly tempted by his cellphone, while Sarah feels the pressure to work when she’s around her computer. So we did bring computers on the last trip and Tony left his phone in the car. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let people know you are going away and won\u2019t be reachable until a certain time. If you feel weird about being completely unreachable set up an emergency-only contact method, like a phone number that only the babysitter of your kids has.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One exception to this rule that we have made is using our devices for music. While we don’t like to listen to music all the time during our offsites<\/g> (sometimes the soothing sound of nature is just what we need), music can be a helpful way to relax. If you feel like turning on WiFi to access Spotify will be a temptation for you, then make it a priority to download songs beforehand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Use pen and paper.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re all-in on the power of pen and paper for helping facilitate slowing down and thinking as you work. We each have favorite notebooks and pen types. And we use them to force us to slow down, sit with, and unpack our thoughts during these reflective days. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re normally all-digital, try to run your first 13-Hour Offsite with pen and paper. Don\u2019t trust us, test it. See how it goes for you.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fun fact: <\/strong>transcribing notes taken in pen helps you to refine and store the thoughts and plans you make in the longer-term memory of your brain. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And bring any other arts, crafts, or work materials you’d like. We brought tons of post-its and markers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Reflect on 130 years.<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

There are many ways you can go about doing this, but the point is to think about the big picture, the multi-generational big picture. This is not a time to make a list of things to do this week or ways to grow your mailing list, but rather a time to think about the kind of person you\u2019d like to be remembered as. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unlike our ancestors, there will all but certainly be a digital trail of our thoughts, actions, and our contribution to our communities.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are a few of our favorite questions to ask during this time in order to spark big ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n